When i twisted my hand last last friday, i almost uttered Hamster's real name when i fell to the ground wincing in pain. (he shud be thankful i didn't do it for real...it dreads me to even imagine the situation)
When i first saw hamster i didn't care for him that much until one particular thursday i dunno why but i happened to lay my freaking eyes on that creature and sth triggered my idiotic brain and then the whole melodrama started.
Since that fateful day i started to think about hamster all day long and it happened AGAINST my wish.
I was so stressed i couldn't concentrate on anything else and suddenly i started to score very low for my tests and never managed to bring my homework on time. That's! when i decided to talk to the counsellor! To find a solution to stop thinking about hamster
Even my form teacher was shocked with my poor performance and she talked to the counsellor. We had a few sessions and we thought of certain possibilites or ways to stop thinking about hamster and mind my own business =.= He suggested i might wanna write hamster letters through an anonymous name and tell him about my feelings so that this stress might ease a bit. ( that was a terrible idea)
And....well..u can guess...it didn't work....i dnt even know if the counsellor managed to give him the letters. I stopped meeting the counsellor for a while (i've annoyed him enough, he deserves a break)
Then..there had been..loads..of...weird...scenerios...i can't think about them right now, my mind is empty.
Then certain attempts to hide from him...during recess...then during the cca...it didn't work though
Blah blah blah blah...i dnt wanna cheat him...and yeah..i agree..it;s all my fault...i'm such a terrible person. I feel self concious and i become nervous when he is around me. Even the thought of him makes me wanna scream or freeze on the spot...if only i cud be his frnd ONLY will that do any help? I dunno...i feel i might be able to get rid of this self conciousness atleast. But then...i dunno what he thinks about me. He might find me a retard or a female-dog.....so i'm scared. Either i'll continue to suffer and cry whenever i get the chance or....do sth....like i have any idea what. And if gUeSs wHo i M is really hamster than that gives me like...0% chances to be his frnd...simply coz...HE HATES ME
an idiotic brat. Cries when lonely. first breath: 6th March 1994
Talks too much
Changes mood occasionally
Is a knockout freak
A person not to be meddled with for your own goodness sake
If you wanna get all of your front teeth knocked out and be kicked down from the Eifel tower and be hanged upside down from a tree for the rest of your lives...
Well...you've got the right person to mess with then. (i'm not literally meaning it so stay back!)
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